Game of Thrones Series Finale thoughts: Chaos is a ramp

Chaos is a wheelchair ramp

Game of Thrones Series Finale thoughts. Spoilers clearly follow.

This episode was Really Bad, as Gendry would have put it. Death. It was like the Death of a show, rather than an elegant, emotional farewell. I may or may not break down how disappointing this season was sometime later this week, but for now, here are quick thoughts.

Dany’s braids are like a woven carpet at this point. She also clearly got a French manicure before stroking the throne.

This “break the wheel.” You keep using that phrase. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Grey Worm is a dick. Pun intended.

Peter Dinklage did a nice job this episode.

Arya to Jon, re: Daenerys: I know a killer when I see one. Thanks, Captain Obvious.

Jon, until the moment he killed Dany, was dumber than a casterly rock.

Initially I was sorta glad Dany got popped early on, but the rest of the episode ended up being “tie up all loose ends in the most anticlimactic way possible.”

Best acting performance of the episode: Drogon. Devastation, anger, angst, acceptance. Aren’t these the various stages of grief? And mega props for destroying the Iron Throne, as if he knew this was the root of so much destruction and devastation. I wish he had done this three seasons ago.

Grey Worm to Tyrion: no more words out of you, you verbose motherfucker.
Tyrion: [gives 20 minute speech about Bran and succession rules]

I like how all present and past leaders of Dorne have to look totally slovenly by contract, like can’t ever be bothered to sit up straight in a chair, not manspread, or button their top button

That is ROBIN ARRYN next to the Dorne dude! Grown ass man, finally weaned off breastmilk at age 9.

“Uncle, please sit.” I laughed initially, but given how absurd this whole discussion was, this Edmure takedown was really uncalled for and unnecessary.

I proposed democracy (see previous post). Sam proposed democracy. And we were brutally rebuffed! Jerks. It’s all right. They aren’t ready yet.

Bran. Now. What. the. Flying. Fuck. So I have not read the books. But I will speculate that the showrunners and directors and Isaac Hempstead Wright screwed this up, by making Bran totally soulless and dead in the eyes as the Three Eyed Raven. The previous 3ER communicated like a normal human, spoke with empathy and affect. Why does Tyrion suddenly believe this useless turd can make decisions? Whenever probed in the recent past, he has impassively tossed it right back with, “it’s up to you, bruh.”

I am renaming Bran the Broken (which, by the way, what an awful nickname/air/title) to Bran the Useless Turd.

I like how Jon didn’t even try to hug Bran when he left Kings Landing, because he knew it would be just like hugging the corpse of a useless turd.

Brienne writing in the history books about Jaime: “Popped the cherry of Ser Brienne of Tarth.”

Also apparently just anyone can write whatever they want in the history books? Is Jon really a Targaryen?

Also while we are here, it wasn’t Jaime’s return to Cersei that ruined his character arc–it was his sleeping with Brienne that ruined both their character arcs. The show could have just left their mutual love and respect for one another as it was. Jaime knighted Brienne in E2, the only solid episode of the season, and it was perfect. But they fucked it up with the disaster that was E4’s endless fan service.

The small council meeting was so dumb I can’t even, in millennialspeak.

So the Night’s Watch is for the dregs of society to stand around and train for nothing on the tax dollars of the North? It would have been cool to see a hint of surviving White Walkers on the road North.

White people celebrating the reunion of Jon and Ghost like they celebrated the death of the Night King

I still harbor some hope that Gendry was below deck on Arya’s ship west. He was busy preparing the picnic lunch he arranged, ready to show Arya how skilled he is now after training with Bernard that hotel manager guy from Pretty Woman, who showed Vivian all the forks.

My takeaway from this show is that all I have to do is say, “I don’t want it.” And then it will just come to me.

So, here it goes: I don’t want to win Powerball.