so filter has not freed up its wifi internet, as DH, DW, and i were surprised to find on sunday. instead the coffee shop probably just ran out of the webbeams business cards (which featured a wifi access code) it used to hand out.
up first on the chopping block: unused surface area on printed pages, or what we in the industry call, “dead space.”
don’t blink next time you ask for a wifi code because you might miss the hand-off of filter’s latest cost-savings-initiative, pictured below.
what you can barely see there is a wifi code printed on what we in the industry call, “a fraction of a sliver of a piece of paper.” which clearly requires the precision of a steady human hand to carefully snip into strips.
preliminary cost savings analysis
+ savings from eliminated business card expense, estimated at 20% of cost of those joke-business-cards-booth-socially-pressured-me-buy-that-i-only-use-for-luggage-tags-and-free-lunch-raffles
— added wages required to employ fine-motor-skilled labor
= net higher costs
and just think of the poor minimum-wage-making, over-educated, dissatisfied, restless-generation, 99%-claiming hipster behind the counter having to cut that ish up. so don’t be surprised if you see wifi-code flakes mixed into loose leaf tea bags or hashbrowns. well maybe he’ll write a song about it. or maybe he already has.
actually this looks like a job for re-purposed shredding scissors like these.
that’s what the hip kids are into nowadays, right? re-using, recycling? however i suspect the time/focus allocation for this tool is something like 99% aligning, 1% snipping, and all still requiring incredibly fine motor skills.
back to the restructuring board.
in other news, i just googled my TA and then separately, “eye phlegm”. a day in the life.
lovelinetapes.com: just discovered, rediscovered. i ❤ the ace man.
the booth portal is not firefox friendly.
henceforth known as TTH: a guy wearing a wool beanie (in 80 degree humidity) and rocker t-shirt with sleeves cut off
DTK: the hipsters are OUT in wicker park today
i figured out where my time goes: worrying about recruiting. instead of walking myself through my own resume or getting angry at the markets on fire that are killing my stock pitch ideas one after another, i dampen my fears of not getting a summer gig with puppies, plaid, and PBR.