Tag Archive | toothbrush

israel & jordan via free word association

pre-random walk:  holy land. armed to the teeth. hummus & falafel. bombs. boundaries. beards. birth right.

post–?

all day // 37 degrees in celsius times 9/5+ 32 is… seven times 9 divided by five carry the one is uhhh f’king hot in fahrenheit. the most awkward moment in joke-telling history: M’s interjection of ‘I’M SO HORNY’ in the midst of his own. our petra guide takes a donkey ride back to the entrance while we sweat out the 40 minute stroll. found: worst job in the world — horse poop sweeper at petra. 40? 14. ONE FOUR. we are your allies; we give you weapons. it is what it is. since you made us late. thx. choiceless choice. what is your jerusalem? free shots, free hookah, free girls. hitching taxi rider. guns & moses. jesus christ…oh hey! trying on five outfits to find one that covers the knees yet maximizes ventilation…hey does amazon have four-hour shipping? two people per ATV? is this travelmba’s rogue operation? the ear-devouring couple couched at the toy club in jerusalem. uncomfortably warm dead sea float. is something burning? J said it is because you are dirty. this israeli kebab appears remarkably similar to your order of meatballs. stray skeletal cats. are you trying to pronounce something in hebrew or snotting /clearing your throat? wakey wakey. here’s the situation you know my motivation given my reputation. a canvas bag of hat and map: the gift that kept on giving (us fits). there’s wifi here? this conversation just ended. finding somewhere, anywhere to sit — be it planter, stray concrete block, window ledge — during the old city tour. airport security imagining a a sonicare toothbrush used to detonate a series of carefully placed iPads in plane cabins. the pat[&]down. would it be too nerdy to start a count off? mcshits and shoddy chinese mall food. who parks a massive bus in a winding mall parking lot? should i bring these chips? but then i have to share. no american rejects an offer of chex mix. < 25 hours of sleep (in beds, i.e. not counting that achieved on transportation or while standing with shades down as our guide spoke / insulted passersby). the couple that joined the holocaust museum tour and answered J’s questions. crying kids, thermostat at freezing plus one, and u cant touch this asymptotes on the plane ride back. lev said good morning?! he must be drunk. holy land. armed to the teeth. hummus & falafel. bombs. boundaries. beards. birth right // all night

below, better than ambien — the soundtrack that lulled me to sleep on every bus ride:

girl talk – triple double

radiohead – reckoner

the national – patterns of fairytales

the xx – intro

the velvet underground – all tomorrow’s parties

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smiles for everyone

i am one of those people who brushes her teeth in the office bathroom after lunch.  i learned why i must from dear receptionist II of all receptionists of my old firm, known for epic quotes such as, “i had 13 cats… i know all about fleas” and “my arm is longer than yours.” more notably, she used to work in a dentist’s office.  today, i brought my new toothbrush to my new work.

they aren’t paying me to say this, but know that this toothbrush stands up on its very own suction cup stand.  there will be no sharing of this gem.  see how hello kitty smiles?  that is how i smile after brushing.

actually, that be a straight up lie, yo.  hello kitty doesn’t smile; she has no mouth.  pick your jaw back up — it’s true.  hello kitty smiles for no one.

boothbrush shout out

to meeeeeeee! so the student has become the master.  except vice versa.  or something.

“use and enjoy,”

toothbrush girl

—–Original Message—–
From: [Gown Guy]
Sent: Monday, June 06, 2011 11:16 AM
To: [2011 googlegroup]
Subject: {Class of 2011} Sharing Graduation Gown

Hello all–

Is anyone interested in sharing a graduation gown?

How would this work, you ask?  It will be much like sharing a coursepack.  Presumably we’re going to be going in alphabetical order. So if we are sharing and you go before me, right after you get off stage you take off your gown and hand it to me for me to then use and enjoy.

Do not like that idea?  Well, as with sharing a coursepack, we have a 2nd option.  I can take the original and make copies of it by going to a fabric store and trying to copy it in a low-quality manner.  Don’t worry–Chinese people are very good at this and I am Chinese.

Then afterwards, we can create an artificial sense of FOMO at the last minute and sell it to a 1st-Year and split the profits!  Silly
1st-Years.

If you have interest, please let me know.  We would save a lot of moneys!

Love,
[Gown Guy]

the big show

golden gargyoles 2010.

people’s choice winner

the event was themed “heroes and villains”. someone you know may have gone as a banker, AKA, a…

…who loves…

boothbrush

after polling select few with the pointed q, “is this too mean to send to the booth list. people are sharing vacuums and wifi across apt units!”…i sent it anyway.

—————————————————-
from: me
to: booth class o’ 2012 googlegroup

Hi all,

Anyone interested in going in on a toothbrush?

Manual only, not Sonicare, as my debt-financed budget cannot allow that extravagance. I’m open to whatever brands, have heard / read good things about Oral B, GUM and Reach. My only preference is for the softest bristles because my dentist perpetually chides me for brushing too hard.

Perhaps we can involve a google spreadsheet, find potential local matches, consider buying two toothbrushes, possibly three, and a 5-pack of floss from Costco as well? I bet we can get a deal on that, if we buy in bulk. Maybe on the vacuum cleaner that our entire class is sharing, we can attach a toothbrush holder for convenient transport.

Oh and I live in Wicker Park, probably a ten minute drive from most of you, but for the right brush and share arrangements, I’m willing to commute at least twice a day, though ideally after every meal.

Cheers!

————-
CD: [Vacuum] dude is probably going to be in your cohort. I think you should attach a toothbrush to your backpack to signal to all of your classmates that you mean business!

MC: you’d be at risk of getting a new nickname assigned to you. Do you really want to be known as Oral C around campus?

KN: Surprised you didn’t offer the term “boothbrush”….yeah, too easy…

JL: I hope that [Vacuum Guy]’s affordably cleaned carpet comforts his awkwardness. Eh I’m sure you’ll both have a good laugh about it in the future, if not already… if he’s cool. If not, you can always giggle to yourself when youre around him. Hopefully the giggles overpower the awkwardness. But really I have to agree with him and would probably join his team because I hate almost everything about vacuums, especially the cost. Luckily i haven’t had to buy one, ever. And if I was confronted with that predicament I’d be tempted to just casually take one from wal-mart, or target if that’s your thing and you hate them for getting into politics. Walk through the checkout aisle and everything. Just don’t buy it and don’t stop. Whistle and be cool. Nobody’s going to think you’ve just stolen a vacuum. Double down the persuasion by carrying it out atop a stroller (also stolen). … So did he still let you into the vacushare? Also have you ever used a toothbrush that isn’t yours? Seriously though, it gives great insight (am I polluting the brush or is the brush polluting me?).

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