Tag Archive | mba

i need answers

to very important questions.

DM: things are not going well with interviews
me: no?  how come? you mean [for case prep]?
DM: for [interview] invites.
DM: i wish someone would pay me to cut off my pinky
me: hahaha. J’s pinky is only $75K!
DM: he’s nuts
me: that’s like less than a year of booth tuition
DM: he should demand way more
DM: i would cut off just the part above the top knuckle for a guarantee i’d come out of school debt free
me: i think it’s because he lived in crunchy seattle. material things like pinky and cash mean less
DM: it’s true. he’d probably do it for a joint. maybe two

DM [later]: i just typed the last sentences without using my right pinky once. I use my left pinky for “a” and “shift” and “q” but that letter is useless
me: true. but it slows down my ctrl c ctrl v action. i guess i could use my other pinky for ctrl.
DM: oh my – i wasn’t even considering excel shortcuts.

so what’s the takeaway from all of this?

  • in this job market, i wish i had as many spare pinkies as kidneys. hey wait.
  • for an engaged booth couple, the rational thing to do is to monetize the female’s pinky right before marriage, before it loses $3 million in market cap in, like, a day.
  • i think women think men think pinkies are pivotal to being marriage-material.
  • meanwhile men think all women’s pinkies are overvalued.
  • this “self-reported” data gathering method is so inefficient, inconclusive…yet so addicting. clearly, i am stuck on this like my pinky is stuck to my hand (for now).

failure – stuck on you.


very important questions

only slightly less important than what C.R.E.A.M. stands for.

is it “bottom up” investing or “bottoms up” investing? “bottom up” is the only option that makes any sense (i mean, the alternative involves a “tops down” pairing, which sounds insane), but bizarrely i continue to spot “bottoms up fundamental research” in job descriptions.

KW: As far as I know, bottom up is about investing and bottoms up is about beer. Depending on the job, they both may have a place in your cover letter.

hmmm. how about this:

Dear FirmX,

I think your bottom-up investing style may jive with the top-down convertible I picture myself driving in three to five years post-MBA. Hire me.

Bottoms up,


in other news, two unbelievable things happened at the CCQ: i) cops came ii) we shushed them away… !! can we all just marvel at that?

finally, andy samberg as mark zuckerberg:

the homestretch


made infinitely more palatable by MW’s cinnamon twists delivery service and hello kitty perching.

KW: Why aren’t you [back in Chicago] yet?!? I’m so bored.…

me: seriously, why am i still working? Umm also I have an accounting question.

[i subsequently email a huge long accounting question on how sales are booked vs bad debt expense, bad debt provisions, calculating free cash flow, working capital adjustments, and omg nerd alert]

KW [the next day]: wow, i had too much wine last night to even read that entire question.  so, what’s the answer? I can’t believe you are still working.  My week has been all about getting ready for school.  This has included taking long bike rides, ignoring the “Math for Economists” book that I need to study for fixed income, getting my hair cut and eyebrows waxed.  God I love MBA school.


crunch time like whoa

umm … good or bad thing that i can’t remember the last time i worked this hard? i can’t wait to get back to school so i can resume learning about business and people and changing the world with mine own hands my debt-financed vacation from work.

oh that pillow looks so soft and fluffy and i’m just gonna put my head down for a second to test it ou–[snore]

my MBA glass is half full

From: systu-grp-events-bounces@lists

Sent: Wednesday, June 22, 2011 3:55 PM
To: [pintotowncar]
Subject: Welcome to the “Systu-grp-events” mailing list

Welcome to the Systu-grp-events mailing list!

omg i am a second-year!  omg, the mailing list ‘bot used that exclamation point on its own!  it is as excited as i am!  that i can haze!

and by haze i mean in precisely one year, i will guilt first-years into forwarding “for sale” emails to their class listserv for stuff that they all have already, after a year of living in chicago.  hmm…this reeks of a moneymakingcurve opportunity… maybe i should start a secondary market, by buying off graduating, liquidating second-years and selling to incoming first-years.  everyone wins!

“buy low, sell high”?  i should make t-shirts of this, the punchline of every single portfolio manager’s speech on booth’s investment management treks and at conferences.  the back could read: “i went to bschool and all i came away with was the obvious.”

there.  i just saved you 170K in mba tuition and expenses, before opportunity costs.

can you pay me back by buying my “excellent condition, only two years of use, buyer must pick-up but i can’t help with dis-assembly because it is from IKEA and hence it was intended to be disposed not disassembled but i need every dollar i can get right now because i haven’t been paid in 22 months and i blew all my cash savings on cabs back from TNDC… and furthermore the instructions for dis-assembly are completely incomprehensible and impossible especially since i completed assembly with these seven extra screws and bolts that i keep in a plastic bag along with four hex screws acquired over the last eight years that do not fit that mess of screws and bolts just in case i sneeze too hard one day and everything collapses” furniture next year?  hey, thx!

%d bloggers like this: