holiday round-up

new year’s resolutions:

All my New Year resolutions basically come down to “Try to be somebody else.”
:: Michael Ian Black ::

autocorrect failure:

M: dinner monday night?

D1: myra!

D1 [moments later]: that was a weird [iphone] autocorrect. i meant to say ‘yes!’.

autocorrect [delayed] success:

D2 [on vacation]: what’s your address?

me: [my address]. i am now expecting a husky puppy in the mail!

D2: ok , btr.   u giyd habe got a postcrd.   dckig. postsrd vcimmimg rnway!!

D2 [two days later]: just saw this – sorry.  translation (i think): you’ve got a postcard coming your way.

me: literal, delayed “auto”correct!

i don’t celebrate christmas much, but i’m all about giving — to myself. i have gifted myself a domain name: look at me, learning internet! go ahead and click. experience an impossibly fast URL redirect right back to where you started. side note: costs $1545 per year! i am aZn so i know how to save for rainy days when i need a dotcom URL. i put myself on a 30-year plan, $1 a week.

my sister, though, celebrates christmas and admirably. she gave me one of my best presents ever: an advent calendar!

christmas in a box!

from december 1 to 25, i started each morning in chicago, aspen, and the OC with a lovely little surprise, ranging from a pigs mini-calendar (two of my loves in one) to christmas socks, to chocolate. especially helpful for the holidays when without work or school, it typically takes me more than thirty seconds of hard thought to remember what day it is.

D1 found some less affordable giftables. items highlighted below may be given to people who celebrate both or may simply be added to my growing “things to explore once i am less indebted” list. side note: when i settle into an airplane seat, i toss in my last moves in words with friends, set “airplane mode” on my phone, and then i peruse sky mall like it is my job. i love the hammacher schlemmer catalog. it is the home of dreams & crazy & ideas every guy you know swears he had ten years ago.

i) the jetlev

D1: "remember when George Michael got ahold of one of these on Arrested Development?"

ii) the flying car

D1: "for a meager $350k."

iii) pet umbrella

aka the thing that i could make with mine own hands yet probably couldn't even sell to the human hand pictured.

the christmas doughnut tradition continues: five years and going strong! photo evidence of D3 taking a painful(ly delicious?) bite below:


you can’t quite tell, but know that in this superskillfully photoshopped photo, D3 is ingesting a piece of a petrified doughnut. born five years ago at Old Firm, the christmas doughnut has traveled near and far and currently resides in austin. each year, my dear ex-coworkers get together to take a bite. the whole is not pictured, but D3 describes, “Just picture a donut broken into about 5 pieces with lots of half inch diameter cubes lying around, and that’s this donut.” presumably, it is dry and rock hard (like its wit and will to survive), but still delectable as ever, right, D3?


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