tmi: fast food confessions, part ii

i have literally wasted hours on this fast food confessions reddit thread. i’m fascinated. so now i get why people love reddit. overall the punchline is something like this:

  • even if corporate has good rules, the treatment of your food is entirely contingent on store management.
  • it’s most likely a high school kid (who is high) that makes your food. he/she is underpaid and not looking to work there long term, so there’s sort of no reason to care about the product you create for customers. so don’t expect too much and you won’t be disappointed.
  • there were some egregious sanitation/ ethical violations i read about, but i have to assume those are the rare cases of both terrible management and inept employees
  • the places that have emerged as tops: wendy’s, in-n-out, jimmy john’s, chick-fil-a, taco bell. yes, taco bell. starbucks, arby’s [<—- yay, arby’s!].

all clips below are direct quotes from the reddit page.

General rules

To ensure a ‘fresh’ batch of fries / burger, order ‘no salt’ which forces a new batch that you can salt on your own.


if you are getting food delivered (in general) think briefly about the delivery in advance. Put pants on, find your wallet, etc. Delivery drivers do not make a lot of money after paying for gas and car maintenance, so unless you’re going to be really generous, get your shit together ahead of time


you can order hotcakes at any point during the day. little known fact.

NEVER order grilled chicken. That shit is allowed to sit there for an hour and no one else orders it so it’s literally NEVER fresh.

If you want something extra on your burger say “extra XX”. When I worked there, if you enter extra, it just put a note on the order whereas “Adding” actually charges you.

Pei Wei

We sell chocolate chip cookies for a dollar a piece. We have our own little oven in the back that’s used for nothing but baking these cookies. The shelf life on them is 4 or 6 hours, but we usually only bake them in the morning and leave them up by the counter till we close. Most of the time they’re still soft and good when we close, but sometimes they’re all hard and crunchy. So go ahead and squeeze a cookie before you buy it.


if you order a half and half that’s fine. But if you order two half and halfs and they have the same toppings, I’m going to kick you in the teeth.


you can add ANY condiment that we have to the burger OR add extra (or in some cases extra extra extra extra extra) condiments for no extra charge. a double double will cost the same whether you get it plain with nothing on it or with everything and EXTRA everything (which is an actual key on the computer terminal).

you can get WHOLE grilled onions on your burger (which will take your life to the next level), extra toasted buns, well done fries/burger.


I gave decaf to anybody who was rude.

Don’t complain that you’re tired. We will then watch you like a hawk and make fun of you in the back room Mr. Poor-me-I-have-to-work-at-9am.

If you order nonfat, it will  be non-fat, don’t blame us for your oversight. The fact is, we’re happy to remake it if you admit that you forgot to ask and are polite about it. Act like a jerk? And you end up with whole milk.


The fresh food stuff is legit. they really do go to great lengths to get stuff locally and organic

The guac is “so expensive” because they use Hass avocados, the fancy ones. and it is made from scratch which takes 45 mins to an hour per batch. The secret ingredient is salt, fuck tons of salt, in literally everything.


Don’t order your burger “well done.” They are all well done. Ordering well done will usually just cause the manager to tell whoever is on sandwiches to put an extra dried out patty that was taken off the line on your sandwich.


Like others have said, it is the cleanest fast food place you could ever imagine and customer service is the most important. In other words, you have to be a certain type of outgoing chipper person to work there.

if someone says “thank you” you have to say “my pleasure” and will get in a lot of trouble if you don’t. I always greeted customers with a smile, but I did get in trouble for not smiling big enough.

it’s possible to use the raw chicken nuggets at skates, as long as the floor is wet(almost always). the “no slip” shoes they gave us to use really held the nuggets in the perfect position for it!

Taco Bell

Absolutely every single item on Taco Bell’s menu is a re-hash of the same damn ingredients they’ve had for years. It doesn’t matter what you order, it is the same shit that’s in a burrito supreme re-worked.

pictured: a bacon gordita crunch. two taco shells?! one crunchy and one soft? why not.

grub grade: 'there is a lot going on with the Bacon Cheddar Gordita Crunch from Taco Bell, maybe just a tad too much.'

And for the love of Gawd, a “Chalupa” is a deep-fried “Gordita”…

!! was the taco bell commenter reading this post??


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2 responses to “tmi: fast food confessions, part ii”

  1. csmatty says :

    I have a few good contributions to make to that sight…

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