hodge podge for $400

firstly: important things going on in the finance industry

JD: Classic mistake – just tried to find the CFA Institute website (https://www.cfainstitute.org/pages/index.aspx) and navigated myself here instead: http://www.cfa.org/client/home.aspx

me: hahahaha I lol’ed. CFA.org must get so many accidental hits

JD [later]: This cat won “Best Cat” in the CFA cat show?!

so what if i have no limbs

nextly: WSJ’s field guide to obnoxious eating (thanks, MW!)

Common smelly foods that get the most complaints:

  • Reheated fish dishes
  • Fast-food french fries
  • Microwave popcorn and burritos
  • Sandwiches with liverwurst or onion
  • Dishes with aged cheeses

where is microwaved broccoli on that list??! or munching, crunching, dropping crumbs of cool ranch doritos into the bloomberg keyboard?

anyway i now know the value of an MBA. its worth, entirely intangible and amortizable over my 35 year career, is precisely that of less embarrassment and discussion of my brown bag lunches. because i now have an office, i can have my sardine souffle and eat it too. okay, i admit i just threw up at the thought of a sardine souffle, but i’m also about to google for a recipe.

thirdly: you caught me. this is actually what i’m up to in san diego this week.

A man in a Gumby suit attempted to rob a 7-Eleven store but became nervous and escaped with only some loose change, the San Diego Police Department said.

Initially the clerk thought the man was joking. But when the robber announced he had a gun and began fumbling with his Gumby suit, the clerk changed his mind.

San Diego Crime Stoppers is offering a $1,000 reward for information leading to the arrest of Gumby and/or the accomplice. The car was described as a light-colored mini-van; the Gumby suit was green.

:: la times ::

fourthly: PW unknowingly made me LOL with a text that said, “I’ll be there at 11:30 sharp [emphasis mine].” i don’t think i’ve heard that expression in about a decade. and i realized it is because saying “sharp” with a meeting time in southern california is almost laughable.

i don’t blame your watch that is all fashion over function; i blame traffic. and also, your watch.

fifthly: job hunting blows but this guy will blow for a job? (NSFW, via dealbreaker)

this must be a trap into a hidden camera and blackmail scheme. how tricky, this trickster trickily turning tricks. in the grand scheme of schemes, i’m thinking this might be slightly worse than a pyramid scheme, but an improvement upon a phone-tapping scheme. hmm this is getting hard to keep track of so let’s review the current rankings:

cash4gold < pyramid scheme < ponzi < blackmail < phone-tapping < S&P credit ratings* ( <– why does the treasury have a blog?) < highway robbery < murder < secondhand smoking < global warming — hey wait a minute.

global warming < secondhand smoking. …

… right.

also puzzling: “Complete and utter discretion is a must and you will need to verify who you are later down the road [emphasis mine].” really? later, not immediately?

sixthly: microsoft internet explorer is so bad it hurts.

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