israel & jordan via free word association

pre-random walk:  holy land. armed to the teeth. hummus & falafel. bombs. boundaries. beards. birth right.


all day // 37 degrees in celsius times 9/5+ 32 is… seven times 9 divided by five carry the one is uhhh f’king hot in fahrenheit. the most awkward moment in joke-telling history: M’s interjection of ‘I’M SO HORNY’ in the midst of his own. our petra guide takes a donkey ride back to the entrance while we sweat out the 40 minute stroll. found: worst job in the world — horse poop sweeper at petra. 40? 14. ONE FOUR. we are your allies; we give you weapons. it is what it is. since you made us late. thx. choiceless choice. what is your jerusalem? free shots, free hookah, free girls. hitching taxi rider. guns & moses. jesus christ…oh hey! trying on five outfits to find one that covers the knees yet maximizes ventilation…hey does amazon have four-hour shipping? two people per ATV? is this travelmba’s rogue operation? the ear-devouring couple couched at the toy club in jerusalem. uncomfortably warm dead sea float. is something burning? J said it is because you are dirty. this israeli kebab appears remarkably similar to your order of meatballs. stray skeletal cats. are you trying to pronounce something in hebrew or snotting /clearing your throat? wakey wakey. here’s the situation you know my motivation given my reputation. a canvas bag of hat and map: the gift that kept on giving (us fits). there’s wifi here? this conversation just ended. finding somewhere, anywhere to sit — be it planter, stray concrete block, window ledge — during the old city tour. airport security imagining a a sonicare toothbrush used to detonate a series of carefully placed iPads in plane cabins. the pat[&]down. would it be too nerdy to start a count off? mcshits and shoddy chinese mall food. who parks a massive bus in a winding mall parking lot? should i bring these chips? but then i have to share. no american rejects an offer of chex mix. < 25 hours of sleep (in beds, i.e. not counting that achieved on transportation or while standing with shades down as our guide spoke / insulted passersby). the couple that joined the holocaust museum tour and answered J’s questions. crying kids, thermostat at freezing plus one, and u cant touch this asymptotes on the plane ride back. lev said good morning?! he must be drunk. holy land. armed to the teeth. hummus & falafel. bombs. boundaries. beards. birth right // all night

below, better than ambien — the soundtrack that lulled me to sleep on every bus ride:

girl talk – triple double

radiohead – reckoner

the national – patterns of fairytales

the xx – intro

the velvet underground – all tomorrow’s parties


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