livin’ in a buyer’s paradise
in both settings of the strip above, i’m the one in the middle looking directly at the camera. instead of investing in equities, i’m thinking of getting into the Cash4Gold hustle. i’ll send postage-paid boxes that say “Cash4Gold” to all people who sign up for this weezer cruise (easy screen for lofty dreams and excess capital), twiddle my thumbs for one month. then my haul comes in, i’m going to melt it into a throne that i can sit in every night to write in my diary. then when i get letters and lawsuits that say i promised cash in exchange for gold, my defense will be the following:
To the best of my knowledge, ‘4’ does not mean ‘exchange’. It is a counting unit higher than three, lower than five (source: Kumon). The popular verse below demonstrates its universal interpretation as a counting unit, not a command:
5 Golden Rings
4 Calling Birds
3 French Hens
2 Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree.
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Self-licensed Dream Crusher / Hope Exterminator / Life Destroyer