i hear ya, mario.

so many options…

i've nothing to wear!

and each has a purpose:

  • turtleshell is a one-piece, which makes it easy, but also it makes your ass look big;
  • the frog costume is another one-piece option, but it squeaks every time you take a step;
  • the black overalls are the most slimming, but can you really wear that much black in june?;
  • and ugh, just tragic, your skinny jeans that you keep on the top rack, third from left, dreaming of your old figure … mental note: lose 10 pounds this summer.

i really want a me-sized version of the red hat with ears (top shelf), so i can bring it into study groups & call it my ‘thinking cap’


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